Envy is one of those emotions that people prefer not talking about. Ironically, researchers position that envy may be one of the most primitive emotions and experienced in part even by infants in the formative stages. Researchers also posit that envy can be self-consuming with destructive features.
Envy is a complex emotional response with various components including longing, low self-image or self-esteem, feelings of inferiority, animosity toward the object of one’s envy, anger, and guilt.
When trying to understand envy, we can keep in mind that it is frequently brought on by a sense of dissatisfaction in the individual who experiences it, owing to a critical comparison of oneself in contrast to a person in the social environment or context. In other words, envy occurs when someone thinks that possessing and even to some extent destroying what someone else has would make them happier or more at ease regards the comparison. A little part of envy may also involve wishing the other person lacked the thing or quality that is the target of envy.
Some things to keep in mind when envy arises:
– Envy is more potent and stronger than jealousy
– It can keep individuals from appreciating what they have or celebrating the accomplishments of others.
– Envy is likely to be a shameful experience. Due to the possibility that admitting one’s jealousy of others will be socially inappropriate, many people are hesitant to do so.
– Envy comes from some form of self evaluation that one must reflect on and be aware of. It’s important to understand what one may be valuing in that moment and where that understanding of value come from. Envy may be arising from an idealized version of the self, or longing brought about by social sanctions and norms.
– The metrics for this unconscious self evaluation may change as we grow, mature and our values shift. With such growth may also come an acceptance of the self.
– Working towards self care, self love, self acceptance and recognising one’s own talents, efforts and wins is an important practice to keep Envy at bay.
Envy is not always something to feel bad or guilty about.